Her Friended Me

You join Facebook for one of two reasons. If you’re older than 40, you join to see pictures of your kids or grandkids and stay connected to family members who condescendingly respond to your frustrations you weren’t in the loop with, “I posted it on Facebook?!”

If you’re younger than 40, you probably joined Facebook for the other reason: To stalk your ex.

That was why I joined Facebook in September of 2006. Honestly, that was the reason I joined MySpace before and Classmates.com before that. I wanted to find my Her.

Every man, and I suppose some women, have their “Her.” It’s the one woman from your youth that could walk into the room right now — even 20-25 years later — and take your breath away. Puppy love, first crush, first kiss or more … whatever the reason, we all have our Her.

I told that story to an audience in Chicago once and a middle-aged lady came up to me after and reassured me, “We all have our ‘Him’ too.”

Since September of 2006, about once every couple of months, I did a search on Facebook to see if Her joined. Yes, I could certainly pick up the phone and call Her’s mother or a mutual friend to see how Her is doing. Or, if I wanted to be an adult, I could just track down Her number.

But that’s not the point. We all need to be a kid again sometimes. This is my way.

About two months ago I was watching television. My phone vibrated. I looked down to see a Facebook notification pop through. It was Her. Her friended me on Facebook.

For the first time I could identify with 13-year-old girls screaming for Justin Bieber.

Keep in mind, I’m almost 40, happily married, two children …

So as innocently as I could, I accepted the request then sent her a note. I didn’t mean it to be a statement of expectation or disrespect to my wonderful wife. It was well-intended, but also honest.

I wrote, “After 22 years, you can still take my breath away.”

Two weeks later, we had lunch. Her is doing well.

And I no longer have much reason for Facebook.

December 7, 2012

  • Chelsea Hickey

    That’s so cute – but stay on Facebook – your purpose is keeping us entertained. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=770940191 Colleen McKay

    that’s a beautiful sentiment to tell any woman.

  • http://philgerbyshak.com Phil Gerbyshak

    Good story. How does your wife feel about Her?

  • http://www.krisschindler.com Kris Schindler

    I’m so glad I found and read this pos, Jason. My “Him” is not on Facebook but we connect regularly by text. Admittedly, Him is still an attraction and my favorite distraction. One result of the reconnect is that it has prompted some ideas for a book and guess what. Because you wrote this post, I’m gonna ask you to write a little blurb for it. I sure hope Her continues to evoke those fun and enjoyable feelings of youth.